Thanks for coming back and for your kind words. It is comforting to know we are part of your prayer circle.

I couldn’t agree more with your comment concerning how far a mother will go to defend and protect her child[ren]… just like the animal kingdom: a lioness and her cubs.

I don’t know what I would do if I had to see the person who hurt my son all the time, it must be unbelievably difficult. I mentioned the forgiveness aspect because I know how my anger and desire for revenge was eating away at me. I finally found comfort remembering Romans 12:19 “…for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

I’m glad your baby is doing well and I know that God won’t allow any memory of abuse to linger in her mind.

Debi

I am glad to hear that there has been some justice for you and your son. Although, not near as close as the justice you both deserve but that man will no longer be a threat to your son. Hopefully he has learned that a mother will go to no ends to protect there babies. I am sure your son is very grateful to have a mother like you!

I am trying to forgive and move on but it is extremely hard for me. I see this couple everyday…they live 5-6 houses down from me & everytime I see them its like a slap in the face because they have gotten away with the perfect crime. But I believe his time will come and so will his wife for protecting such a person.

I have learned that child abuse is the hardest crime to prove and soooo many children and families are left without justice. Which boggles my mind because the evidence is right infront of the laws face but they still seem to protect the suspect. My heart breaks for all those mothers and babies…who like us..have fallen victim to such a sickening crime.

What I am though is extremely grateful that my baby is ok. It could of been so much worse. And I thank GOD every day that the injuries were only external.
Thanks you for the kind thoughts and prayers. You and your son are still in our circle of prayers.

Rebecca

Your story about your baby girl is horrendous – somehow, the fact that she is a helpless baby makes the offense seem so much worse. But you’re right, all children deserve justice!

And you are so right about leaving things up to God; it is during situations such as these that we are reminded of how much we need to rely on Him and entrust our children to Him.

Although the police refused to file charges against this teacher/principal, coincidentally he stopped working at my son’s high school right after the police received my copy of the doctor’s report. So I feel there was some small form of justice after waiting a very long time.

I really hope HE has learned something through all of this. I am STILL paying off the lawyer I used at the time, but we have to do what’s necessary when it comes to our children.

I’ll pray for your daughter, the other little boy and I’ll pray that God’s peace will transcend the anger and frustration you must be feeling (as I did). Remember: if you give into such anger and don’t forgive, it only hurts YOU, not the perpetrator of such a cowardly crime. (I keep learning this lesson over and over again :-)

Blessings,
Debi

I am so sorry to hear of this happening to our children. I’am also trying to fight for some justice. My 10 month old baby girl and another little boy where physically abused by their daycare provider’s husband. (strangled) Though we know who did it, have police report, hospital reports and pictures, we do not have a criminal case against him because those who seen it are too little to use in the court. So I completely understand the rage and anger you feel right now. It is one of a parents worst nightmare. I am sooo sorry you are going through this right now. Just know that GOD will take care of him and this other cowardly bastard in HIS own time.

Take Care,
Rebecca

Thanks for sharing from your own experience and giving me some insight into what sometimes feels like a losing battle. The theme seems to be what my heart has whispered all along: regardless of the details or the outcome, the important thing is to have faith in my son – in all of my children.

Thank you for the reminder,

Debi

my teenage past resembles your son’s, though I was never assaulted by a principle. My actions as a young person always reflected my surroundings, I came from a single parent invironment and was raised on welfare. The best thing to happen to me was learning a trade and gaining some confidence in myself. I would encourage this even if it meant relocating to another town. My “friends” at the time were not the best influence on me, but now years later I can choose who I associate with out of genuine interest, not peer pressure.

I know this post has had some time passage on it, but one thing I remember from that period in my life was the fact that my Mom always had faith in me, even when my behavior sometimes warranted more “hard knocks”.

peace.

It’s kinda funny timing, but my pastor just did a two week series on Biblical forgiveness. It’s online if you’re interested in listening to it. You can find the archived sermons at: http://media.gccauburn.net/ The two sermons in question are from January 28th (“The Unforgiving Servant”) and February 4th (“The Art of Forgiveness”). I actually thought about you and what you’re going through while listening to this past Sunday’s message.

~Debi

Something else that makes this difficult for me is (well, let me just hang my dirty laundry out for everyone to see :-) – my son doesn’t make it very easy to stick up for him. While this incident, isolated, is not a problem… since then, he has continually gotten himself into trouble with things like smoking in school or cutting class. Although, one big thing was getting off the school bus when the principal in question got on to give some instructions to other students. The faculty knows there is a letter on file from our attorney stating the principal should stay away from my son, but when my son got off the bus to get away from HIM, they suspended his bus privileges. Nice.

There’s no fighting “the system” when it comes to a big, powerful school district with a lot of $ and prestige, I’ve found. They just want to get rid of anything that doesn’t fit the description they’ve portrayed of their perfect high school.

So, while I’m dealing with suspensions, detentions, meetings, etc., and whatever other punishments he’s earned for the things he’s actually doing wrong, it can sometimes be a little difficult to maintain my steam for the original assault. It’s like the kid is pouring water in my sinking boat sometimes. And then the issue of forgiveness rears its ugly head again: When the bus suspension took place and the main principal was so rude to me on the phone, THAT is what prompted me to pursue the case again. But was it out of justice or out of anger? It seems I am most active when they anger me the most… when I see those pictures and know that someone beat my son. It angers me. I need to constantly check my motivation.

I’m glad your parents were proactive and got you out of that class. It sounds like a horrible situation and no one should have to endure that type of harassment, least of all a young woman. It is reassuring to know that your high regard for your parents’ help in that matter is something good you were able to take from those bad circumstances. Unfortunately, I’ve found the anti-bully laws are more of a decoration than a practicality; they appease people to know they exist, but accomplish very little.

But, win or lose, I will remember what you said about how my son will remember how I fought for him in this one justified case and what it means to him when, really, I’m all he has.

Thank you for sharing, Debi.
Much appreciated,

Debi

I’m a bit behind in reading blogs lately. Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply! I remember all too well being a bullied child on the playground at school. It was awful and I never felt like anyone (including my parents) were willing to stick up for me (this was back before all the anti-bully laws we tend to see now in the schools). Anyway, it’s not just kids who are bullies. I had a teacher in Junior High School who would emotionally bully kids in his classes … but whenever anyone would complain, the staff would always ban together and defend the jerk and paint the student as being a “problem” child. Another teacher would make physical passes at the busty girls in class (me being one of them). Nobody would listen to the girls. They’d just tell us we were overreacting. It had gotten so bad for me with this hands-on teacher, that I got up one day and refused to go to school again EVER unless my parents helped me withdraw from that class. I must have come across as meaning business, because I was finally transferred from that class. But I always felt so badly for the girls who were stuck in there and not able to leave. I guess I’d hoped that the “bad old days” of bullies (both students AND teachers) was over. Your story breaks my heart, Debi. I really feel for your son (and for you). Based on some of my own situations as a child, I think your son will feel empowered by having someone stick up for him and got to bat on his behalf. I know I eventually felt like it was impossible to fight “the system” and pretty much gave up on anyone (including my own parents) caring about any abuse I suffered. I’m sure your son knows you care! And that’s a huge thing, believe me. As far as forgiveness goes, I think forgiving someone who’s not repentant is different from forgiving someone who’s truly seen the error of their ways and turned from their bad behaviors. I think you can keep your heart from being bitter but still pursue justice. God is forgiving … but He’s also just. I think there’s room for both responses in our lives, too.
~Debi (the other one)

So glad you stopped by and left the comments you did. From what you’ve said, it’s obvious you don’t need to have a child to have the wisdom to share from your own experience and to offer good advice. How sad that the situation you mentioned with the teacher also had the element of the faculty sticking together to form a ‘wall’ against the student. I guess [in some instances] they know they CAN do this, and do.

To revisit the forgiveness subject, I feel like I am trying very hard to balance things here by providing a good example to my children of the Christian morals I keep and try to impart to them, PLUS what you mentioned about sticking up for them and ensuring justice. Both are so important. I believe you are correct when you stress the impact of supporting a child, “even if we don’t win”. I trust you had someone who believed in you and who helped you through your childhood situation.

As far as lawyers, the ones I’ve called so far have been reluctant to work with me (even w/o knowing I don’t have $). Once they hear that the school and the police are in agreement, I guess it appears to be an uphill battle and not worth the time or effort. But these have not been personal injury lawyers; as I said [above], I am currently waiting for the results of the District Attorney’s office reviewing the file, which could change everything.

On a personal note (or, a morepersonal note :-), I can’t tell you how much it means to hear I have support of any kind, and to hear/read the words, “You are a very good mother”. Raising 4 children alone does not lend itself to hearing sentences like that in my head.

Thanks so much for your kind words and good advice,

Debi